11. The Wake

Estoril, Portugal – here at the invitation of the Fidalgo do Cascais on his fazenda for some shooting but dear Daddy went quite apoplectic when he discovered they proposed shooting migrating birds. Gave the Fidalgo quite a dressing down said he was destroying his ecostem. I didn’t know they had them in Portugal. D knows such a lot of things. I suppose he gets it from books. Meu coração M xxx

(6g12t6dgp Monterrey)

A little after midnight, back in the warmth of the Membury kitchens, in the rosy glow of the Aga, the mood was anything but rosy. Birch served steaming mugs of tea – roadmender’s quality – to the troops with some of Gordano’s homemade shortbread. But these comforts did nothing to lift the pall of gloom that had engulfed the group.

One by one they began to express their misgivings:

“But why did he suddenly launch himself at the side of the pantechnicon?”

“What did he say just before he jumped?”

“Geronimo!” No one laughed.

“Something about the set up ....”

“.... that reminds me.”

“Reminds you of what?”

“No, that’s what he said ‘that reminds me’ .... of something or other.”

“Yes, but of what? What did he mean?”

“Well, whatever it was it must have been enough to convince him it was worth the risk of exposure ....”

“Or shredding,” Clackett moaned.

“.... to piggy back them through the portal.”

Frankley again showed his confidence in his friend. 

“DD wouldn’t have put himself – or us for that matter – at risk unnecessarily. He’s not impetuous. But he certainly is capable of assimilating and assessing facts, evidence, quickly and making a decision and acting on it.”

No one felt reassured.

Suddenly, the silence was broken by a tap at the window. They looked up quickly enough to see a grubby face disappearing as Toddington leapt out the door returning a few moments later with a look of relief followed by the ubiquitous Slipper.

ooooo

The blinding white flash of the arc lights had burned an impression deep into the mind of Dunstable Downes. It was all of which he was conscious for what seemed like an age. Then the shape had begun to morph gradually into a rainbow of a million pin prick stars. Was he dreaming, or drugged? As their light began to mellow and dim he became increasingly aware of a searing pain in his right ankle. So overwhelming did this become that he was completely ignorant of a far worse looking injury to the side of his head and of the pain that went with that. It was still oozing blood which trickled warmly down his neck.

At last the pain subsided and the arc light impress had gone and he could begin to take in the gloom about him. From the little light that was seeping in around a doorframe he could all but make out that he was in the smallest of rooms, possibly a cell. He tried to move to feel his leg and ankle only to discover that he was bound and could move neither his arms nor his legs.

The heavy scrape and clunk of a mortise lock announced the arrival of a visitor. DD was dazzled by the light that flooded through the door before the silhouette of a tall thin man filled the frame. A switch was thrown and a dull yellow ceiling light smouldered into life.

Norton Canes. DD recognised him immediately from his researches at the library. Older now but unmistakeable. His long, drawn, deeply lined face seemed fixed in a knowing smirk.

“Downes. What an irritating and obnoxious little squirt you are.” He spoke slowly and deliberately, looking down the length of his nose. “First you upset my stooge at the MOT. And then you turn up here and try to gate crash my party.” Here he prodded DD’s right leg with the toe of his shoe. A white hot sheet of something shot up DD’s leg and exploded in his head. The screaming noise in his ears eventually subsided. He could hear his tormentor explaining:

“Yes, I’m afraid you’re going to miss the main event. Your timing is atrocious – you peaked 24 hours too soon – thankfully it was only the dress rehearsal that you nearly spoiled.” He continued with a note of triumph in his voice, “Tomorrow for one night only at a redundant military establishment near you ‘How to Screw the Government for Millions, Bind Them to You and Avenge Your Family Honour ‘ or, as the French would have it, ‘la vengeance se mange très bien froide’.” He mmmm’d and moistened his lips as if savouring a boiled sweet. “Not the snappiest of titles,” he grinned, “but that will be more than made up for by the dramatic conclusion to the plot and directorial satisfaction. “ So it was Canes who had been pulling the strings all along, not the cousins criminal.

He prodded DD again.

As he recovered from the second shock of pain DD was already thinking “what family honour”? Who was he kidding, given the history of fraud, treason and embezzlement by Canes’ predecessors? By now he also had enough about him to probe a little.

“And how is it you will avenge your family Mr Canes?”

Canes kicked out again at DD in annoyance but barely made contact this time.

“You stupid little muppet. Frankley’s Dinky Toy detective. Do you really think I’m going to indulge you by committing the pantomime villain faux pas of laying bare all my plans before you dramatically turn the tables on me? Pah, you are shortly going to end your pathetic and miserable existence in the frustration of never knowing quite what it was that I achieved nor how I did it. Your demise will be the cherry on the cake of the perfect crime. Your final case - never solved. A complete failure and an appropriate end, if you ask me, to a miserable career that never really got started.

And don’t think anyone s going to miss you, Downes. I’d be surprised if your absentee parents even bothered to come back and arrange a memorial service. And a memorial service is all it would have to be because by the time my people have finished with you there won’t even be a fingernail left to burn or bury.”

With that he moved to kick DD again, but then he sighed as if the effort was not worth the pleasure.

The mortise clanked shut and DD heard his footsteps moving away. He had left the light on.

Curiously this helped DD to concentrate and to reflect. Had he lost time? If so, how much? Had he lost consciousness? He took in his surroundings. He could see the tight cords which bound his arms and legs. This was definitely some kind of cell. 

Windowless and featureless, 10’ x 10’, the bare stone walls and floor had once been painted grey or green? There was a military feel. A small metal sink in one corner had a bucket underneath it. The dull yellow bulb in the ceiling was encased by some kind of wire mesh.

There was a peephole in the door and just as DD noticed this the shutter flashed open and shut. Was someone checking up on him? There followed some brief scratching before, this time, the muted scrape and clunk of the lock. His executioner? So soon? He drew a heavy breath as the door barely opened and a small boy slid through the gap.

Slipper.

ooooo

“Slipper,” cried DD with some relief. “How did you ....”

“Same way as you, but slightly more conscious I think,” he grinned. “But sshhh, quietly now, they’re not far away. Your man’s not too pleased with you, is he?”

“But where ....”

“Underneath and a little to the west of the Membury estate,” he whispered. “We’re in a bit of a network of caves or bunkers - used to belong to the army judging by the quality of the furnishings. Your man and his friends have been using them to stow their lorries and stuff. I been keeping an eye on them for a while now. They’re not the only ones making use of the storage facilities” he winked “though indeed they think they are - it’s a labyrinth.” he winked again.

“But how did ....”

“Clackett, bless him, let drop something was afoot and I had to be about anyway to check on mammie’s latest brew so I thought I’d take a look to see what yous all were up to. Your friends got away alright by the way. Your man must be thinking you’re all on your own.”

“How long was ....”

“Long enough, you only lost I’d say minutes not hours out cold you were sure enough but we’re not all that far from the showground where they were putting on that little performance in fact we’re probably right underneath it one o’ them two gorillas that met you on the lane by the woods clubbed you on the head while you were still clinging to the side of the lorry like a limpet, he must have seen you in the wing mirror, then when you were on the floor the great oaf trod on your ankle and it’s little consolation I know but I don’t think he meant to do it just that he’s never going to make it with the Royal Ballet if you know what I mean and then they threw in the back of the cab but that was after the thing came down a sort of black gauze dropped down behind as the truck ran under the great lights that flashed I guess to make it look as though the thing had just disappeared then they freewheeled the lorry onto a great lift platform and dropped it down into the caves where we are now and what would anybody be wanting to play circuses with disappearing lorries in the middle of the night I don’t know .... “ 

The thought caused Slipper to stop and reflect a moment with a look of innocent wonder on his face. But DD was ahead of him now.

“At first I couldn’t think what it all reminded me of, the set up I mean. But then it came to me. The lights and the flash were a distraction.  Take the audience’s attention away while the sleight of hand is perpetrated. I’d seen Foggy do it at children’s parties when I was little and he taught me some simple tricks. The diversion is critical. Slipper, they are trying to make people think that the lorries are being transported instantly via a secret network to somewhere else in the country.”

“Well I’ll be .... some folk will believe anything. They’re not scientists are they by any chance?”

“Some of them, but I reckon they are like most of us, willing to believe what we want to believe. My man, Canes is his name, and his co-conspirators have committed a series of lorry hijackings. The stolen lorries appear at the other end of the country almost immediately after they have disappeared. The police are baffled but those people who will be on the stand at their little demo tomorrow are going to be kidded that this network really exists and that it really works. But what I can’t figure is how they actually get the lorries across country so quickly with no one spotting them.”

“Ah well that’s easy that is they’ll have a ringer at the other end. Where I come from we do it all the time wi’ the horses, but the principle’s the same, and the motive, filthy lucre...” he savoured the words...   “I guess?”

“Of course Slipper. That’s it. You’re a genius. The whole thing’s a hoax, just a big bluff to get the government to part with money – ‘How to Screw the Government for Millions, Bind Them to You and Avenge Your Family Honour .‘ He’ll blackmail them with the threat of exposure so the Parks Brothers can carry on with their lucrative contract to build the road network. It’s quite brilliant really.” There was genuine appreciation in his tone for what appeared to be a comprehensive criminal plan.

“Sounds like the perfect crime to me sir. Nobody’s  going to own up to be taken in by a pantomime story of disappearing lorries and a secret transporter-ma-jiggy and flout their stupidity through the courts and across the front pages especially when they’re supposed to be governing the country.

But ouisht, we need to be getting you out a here your friend was being just a wee bit threatening ....” 

Slipper had loosened DD’s bonds and was now manfully struggling to lift DD to his feet. But he was at least a foot shorter and about half his body mass. The weight was too much for him and the pain too much for DD who slumped back to the floor.

“It’s no good. You must go and let the others know that the whole thing is a sham, that tonight was just a practice and that tomorrow Canes is planning some sort of coup ....” 

Typically DD’s first thoughts were of closing the case but as an afterthought he added, “.... then maybe someone can come back and get me out.” He was not relishing the thought of being left alone to face who knows what.

Slipper was more positive. “They’ll be too busy with their show to worry about you for a while besides I can snag the lock on the way out. A door can be used to keep people out as well as to keep them in,” he winked.

DD found some scraps of note paper in his pocket and scribbled instructions for Slipper to make two phone calls as soon as he was able warning him solemnly to use the exact wording in his notes so the recipients would know that the messages were from him. Slipper rearranged the cords so it would appear from the peephole that DD was still bound. Then as an afterthought he produced a large bar of chocolate from inside his coat and stuffed it in DD’s pocket. He bid farewell to his friend and quietly exited. The last DD heard was some squeaking and scratching at the door before the definitive clunk of the mortise turning in the lock.